Intimacy temptations while dating can be quite tricky to navigate. In this article I will go over the male sexual psychology/biology and how to introduce intimacy (while dating) to stay true to your feminine energy.
You may not want to play any games and just be direct with your attraction however, it is important to recognize the power dynamic shift.
As you may have noticed, once you have sex there is an immediate vulnerability you might feel (as a woman at least). As women, once we give access to our body, we usually no longer have the same elusive pull over the man. We are no longer “out of reach” or someone to “figure out”.
And I get it, you don’t have the patience to play any cat and mouse game. And you as a woman also has physical needs and want to just keep it straight forward. However, you and I both know the culture of ghosting is way too prevalent.
So let’s get into the psychology of man & intimacy first.
The Unspoken Psychology of Man
Once a man has indulged in intimacy with you, he has attained what he was looking for. Men (more often than not) have this conquest/hunt type drive.
For men, sex is a hunger. His craving for sex is like a ravenous craving for chocolate you may have. Men have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their bodies, urging them to seek out sex from the woman they are dating (especially if she is in divine feminine). Their body instantly reacts to a woman exuding sexuality, and their brain is overwhelmed with that chemistry and desire.
Every flirtation, smile, alluring image, or sensual feminine appearance is an active testosterone hit on the male brain, driving him to sexual thoughts.
Bottom line, you can understand how men are hardwired to pursue their sexual desires because it penetrates their brain and body in a very intense biological way. How they act on it, is an individual decision based on values.
A man’s values and principle determines how quickly they will succumb to each impulse. They can either pursue attractive women blindly without recourse or show some restraint with who they court.
And also, sometimes they may find it difficult to show restraint if they really do like you. They might be ready to dive right in once they get the greenlight from you.
As a woman, you can direct this energy. You control the tempo. DO NOT feel rushed and DO NOT ask him if it’s too soon. If you can’t decipher his character just yet, you make him wait.
Any man worth his weight is going to respect that instead of walking away. If he pushes, end it.
Why wait and for how long?
Engaging in deeper conversations to understand their impulsivity, values and principles will help you decipher the kind of investment you want to make in him.
You don’t want to hedge your bets on someone who holds no standard for himself. And is mindlessly having sex with anyone he deems attractive. It’s just fickle and risky health wise, in all honesty.
Tips on What you Do First Before Moving Forward
Overall Goal for all these tips is to understand his core values and how he embodies it.
1. Suggest dates that are alcohol free so you don’t get tempted either.
You want ALL your senses when you are trying to learn about him. You HAVE to pay attention and not romanticize him and the chemistry.
So keep alcohol out of the picture as much as possible until maybe the third or fourth date.
Have deeper conversations. You must engage him in a friendly like manner for him to be real and open up about his viewpoints on women and relationship building. This can be tricky especially when you have a lot of attraction towards this person.
If you do have a drink, limit it to just one, when going out with him. The goal is not let temptation take away the power dynamics. Because let’s be real, we are more vulnerable once we have been intimate with the person—hoping you weren’t just caught in a caught a cat and mouse game.
2. Hint that you’d like to see him again. But wait on his effort.
See how much he is willing to invest in planning the next date. Wait patiently, because remember HE is the one courting you. Let HIM plan it because you want to see what he comes up with. Keep yourself entertained and busy. Let him muster up the courage and the planning it takes for courting.
The goal is not to be overtly romantic from the get-go but just do fun things with each other that brings out the playfulness in each other. Allowing your guard to come down as well as his, whereas a real connection can be forged.
3. Do Not Send Overtly Sexual Text Messages/Images So Fast.
As a high female energy woman, do not rush to your sexual impulses. I know you may want him to get a sneak peak of what he can enjoy, but it is in your best interest to keep him guessing. A fun pic of you fully clothed going out with your friends is just fine. Remember it’s the hint of sensuality that drives men crazy. Their imagination will run wild all on its own.
He may start requesting for more revealing pictures early on. If he starts doing that, shut it down. He does not have the privilege to see to you that quickly. He has to earn it first.
You are high value woman who doesn’t just give easy access like that. This means no drunk texting or validation texting from your end either. Have some decorum. You have nothing to prove here. Keep your dignity and don’t speed up the process before you even know who this person is.
Example Conversation:
“Hey I don’t feel comfortable speaking so sexually from the very start. I enjoy speaking to you and would rather just get to know you as a person first. Is that something you’re into/interested in doing as well?”
Here’s something to consider. Whenever you feel the urge to just give in, think about the end state.
Give it at least 2 weeks girl. You really got to see if this person even deserves you like that. Being intimate or even talking about intimacy should not be chalked up to a casual encounter. You want to give yourself emotionally, physically and mentally to a man who is deserving. Recognize that your body is a temple and it is connected to your soul/psyche. You want someone who is deserving and who will be respectful of your emotions and treat you with care.
The worst thing would be later to regret you even listened to his “Oh but sex doesn’t mean we won’t be together for years”. If he’s trying to convince you to give it up, he’s impulsive and sees your ‘no’ as a challenge. Walk away and don’t play game with him. He doesn’t respect you. He’s used to getting things his way and wants to live without boundaries.
You as a woman provide the boundaries and you guide the rules of engagement.
