What does Healthy Masculinity Look Like?
After speaking to men who are leading the way in balancing their tough grit-like masculinity with their emotionally aware side, I was able to compile a list of traits for healthy masculinity.
Below is a list of characteristics for the healthy secure masculine man that every modern man should strive for if he wants to be considered formidable in overall life, future success, and relationships.
Healthy masculine doesn’t always ONLY value ambition, they also are able able to identify emotional intelligence and emotional depth is equally as important.
Taking personal accountability to show up, be resilient in your discipline, grounded in your core values and considerate & supportive of your partner.
Deep Dive of Non-negotiable Characteristics
Values: The most important of a healthy masculine man is having foundational values instilled in them either in their upbringing, faith or their own path of self-discovery when bootstrapping who they are.
Code of Ethics: They are unwavering in their code of ethics; they do not cheat, lie, manipulate, or covet things/persons that others have.
Self-sufficiency: They do not offload responsibilities to others. They are resourceful and figure out how to learn a skill if it makes them more self-sufficient. These men do not want to be dependent upon others and they have this confidence in themselves that they can learn on their own.
*Important Note Ladies: Women should allow these confident men to learn, mess up, learn again and then ultimately reach self-mastery on it. It feeds into their self-esteem. Sure it might take longer but what’s more important? Your partner’s self esteem or your impatience for it being done.
Steadfast in their Self-Respect: These men do not let others demean or diminish them. No matter who the person is (a woman of interest or their boss). They have a strong sense of self that they have built up and they will not allow anyone to tear them down.
Playfulness is very important in the day to day banter and chemistry. The healthy masculine knows how to challenge the woman and push her buttons in a playful harmless manner in order to get her excited.
He is not being mean or disrespectful, instead he is being playful and perhaps calling her out on her choice of boy bands or something of minor significance. Thus allowing for playful debates to ensue and for the woman to feel excited with emotions of friendly rivalry.
This also shows the man is not bending over backwards for her, and will speak out if he doesn’t agree or like something. It’s all in the way he does it. He is always respectful but also not afraid to speak his mind.
Emotional Maturity in Conflict is a trait in healthy masculine men who know how to calmly assess the situation, de-escalate and re-address when emotions are tethered to logic again. They do not fan the flames or completely shut down.
Emotionally Aware of Self is extremely important because it’s what brings humility of oneself. An emotionally aware man has a better understanding of himself, is open to criticism and comprehends complex emotions of others much better. He has on a continuous journey to understand himself better allowing him to be more aware of others needing guidance.
Psychology of What Attracts Women to Healthy Masculinity
Women are attracted to men who respect themselves and are willing to walk away if the situation or person does not align with their values.
Women are attracted to men who have boundaries are not going to fall at their every whim.
They are attracted to strong unwavering men of discipline.
Evolution of the Masculine Man
The healthy masculine represents that discipline and he also shows emotional evolution. This is something the toxic masculine did not show; the desire to truly understand the woman emotionally and not just hanging up the proverbial hat to the notion that “Women are from Venus”.
Healthy masculine unlike their predecessor has developed a keen understanding into the women psyche and into themselves. He is more in tuned with his emotional development and more self aware of where he needs to improve.
This in turn makes the woman feel more safe, secure, seen and heard.
Subtle Leadership of the Secure Masculine
He looks to increase his emotional intelligence and is not too impulsive, domineering or aggressive in behavior. He does not think he knows best. Although he is steadfast in his convictions, he keeps an open mind with open dialogue.
He thinks first, deliberates privately and then acts always keeping the end result in mind.
The question at the forefront of his mind, what he would like to truly achieve between himself and his present company? and what is the best course of action for it with the least amount of conflict?
Secure Masculine in a Relationship
He is not perfect, but he is situationally aware and is not dismissive of the woman’s emotions. He tries to be much more considerate and cognizant since he sees her as a true and equal partner.
He does not box her into a gender role, instead he views their relationship as an ebb and flow partnership. One day she cooks breakfast and the next day he cooks dinner for them. It all depends on how the other partner is feeling and playing off each other’s energies.
This allows the woman to believe she will be encouraged and motivated by this man. She will not have to worry about carrying the burden of emotional development for both he and she. Both are equal and emotionally in tune with themselves and each other.
She will also not feel that ego, status and attachment to material possessions is what defines him. He has far more depth than that. With that being said he understand the value of true companionship and will always put her first before business, economic status and prestige.
The healthy masculine man is a hard working individual who has priorities right but he also knows his own value and will not settle for any partner who does not complement him.
