Can you be quick to anger at the slightest sign of negligence ? Do you sabotage your relationships? Is it difficult just receiving love and allowing someone to take care of you? Or do you often end up trying to chase or convince men to be with you? There is a good chance you have wounded feminine energy and are to continuing to let it fester. It may be time to take a deeper look at your energy and read this post to see how you can heal it.
What does the Wounded Feminine Energy even Look Like?
You may hold a lot of anger towards your past.
There is a lot of resentment towards how people have treated you and you have a victim mentality due to it. You cannot handle abandonment or rejection. And you are quick to emotional outbursts. And you don’t trust your own inner voice.
In relationships, you are overcompensate by instilling control and order. This can occur due to the lack of trustworthy masculine energy in your previous relationships. You feel you had to step in and be the man. It just made sense in order to keep the relationship going. And so, your feminine energy had to take a backseat. And soon became suppressed and nearly non-existent.
You leaned so strongly into your masculine side to protect the inner girl in you–that you have become more combative, defensive and temperamental rather than compassionate, understanding and emotionally regulated.
Some Actions of a Wounded Feminine Woman (my perspective):
- She micro-manages her new relationships so that she can ensure she got the desired results.
- She dictates when she wants to have kids, how many and/or who will take care of them primarily. It is not a discussion.
- She tells her partner what he needs to do–buy more small romantic gifts, surprise dates, and create more intimate moments–they key element here is there is a critical authoritative voice in her demands.
- She starts to control her environment to shield herself from disappointment and heartbreak.
- Plans all the trips and date nights without giving her partner a chance.
- She catastrophizes the smallest gesture that she perceives out of character for the partner. Immediately tries to rectify that by ensuring that person knows they stepped out of bounds (in a very critical manner).
- If he doesn’t pay attention to her or seems distracted whilst having a meal together.
- She immediately needs to rectify the situation and yell at him as opposed to address the matter in a compassionate way.
5 Steps to Heal Wounded Feminine Energy
After recognizing how much you may have changed and suppressed your free loving feminine energy, look below to this list on how balance those energies (specifically healing the wounded femme).
1. Creating a Transformative Alter-Ego Avatar
Contemplate the version of you that would have the most fruitful life. The best version of you that is needed for you to feel relaxed, calm, confident, and healthy. This will help you step outside of imposter syndrome and a doomsday mindset and embrace a different perspective. Asking yourself always What would she do?
Mine is Natasha. She is a confident minimalist woman that keeps her health a priority, even-keeled temperament, and is cognizant about what and who serves her well-being.
Create an actual avatar visual with all the details. Physical such as clothes and hairstyle as well as mental, emotional and spiritual habits and values.
2. Switch Mindset to Personal Cultivation
Switching focus to personal cultivation from obsessing over potential relationship failure. Below is a list on how to do just that.
- Workout Planning: This means continuing to build a workout plan on Google Sheets that works specifically for my goals. Which mostly entails a simple workout plan (4x week) with key compound lifting with accessory lifts & stairmaster cardio.
- Hobbies: Finding joy and confidence in ventures I deem worthy of my time.
- Gardening: Become the Plant Lady
- Adding real plant to your environment adds a special kind of peace to your days. Head to your nearest horticulture/nursery store and get a one or two plants. Try to keep them alive. Start small and manageable.
- Painting (Paint and Sip night can be a partner event too)
- Gardening: Become the Plant Lady
- Cooking Classes or Self Taught Cooking Videos/Books.
- My favorite is Magnolia Cookbook by none other than Joanna Gaines. That woman is a homemaker/designer demi-goddess in my mind. I also enjoy Rachel Aust for the more practical health conscious joyful meal prepping. And I absolutely love her feminine gothic aesthetic.
- Writing/journaling/goal setting/manifestations
- Get your favorite pen, favorite type of paper (bulleted, grid, no lines, or lined) and start just drawing and writing up ideas of what you truly want out of life.
- Best done with jazz music playing and a cup of coffee with a floofy pet (mine is a cat chonk named Mush).
3. Creating your own Feminine Friday
Creating a “Feminine Friday” that allows for me to conduct some self-care and get into a softer relaxed headspace. Here are some items I use:
- Mud Clay Mask
- Nail Growth Serum (trying to veer away acrylics to a minimum)
- Hair health oils (mostly bought in East Indian Markets)
- My favorite calming candle from this witchy store downtown).
- Creative media focuses AWAY from high intensity productivity and more so on self nourishing videos
- Grocery store bought Wine (it’s a recession y’all) or Kombucha.
4. Researching Books on Healing Past Traumas
Researching books/audio books on healing past traumas in order to re-embrace your feminine energy. The goal is to deeply self reflect and recognize if there are limiting beliefs holding you back from embracing your feminine energy.
Currently I am reading “The Body Keeps Score”, “The Mountain is You” and the “80/80 Marriage”.
5. Join a Group for Creative Expression
Make some new friends by joining an activities group on Meetup.com. It allows for you to meet other individuals with shared interests (depending on the activity you decide you join in on). Currently I’m enjoying making connections with women who have a wanderlust in Bold Travel Women: Tacoma.
BONUS: If in a relationship or dating situation
Work on being humble, acknowledging when you’re wrong, and working on conveying expectations to each other.
- Have open conversations in a relaxed state more frequent.
- Create a system that works for us (creating a shared journal perhaps when it’s hard to articulate issues)
- Have designated date nights where you take turns planning something sweet for the other person.
- Add spontaneity in your life and try go to art markets, vintage shops, antique/salvage stores or outdoor culture community events.
And overall, the goal is to work towards healing the angry girl inside. She does not think clearly and is tired of being neglected. So let’s take care of her, give her new purpose and a better community of people who can appreciate her. Only then can you heal your wounded feminine energy.
