The Dark Feminine doesn’t allow someone to control her emotions when they speak to her. She has a calm and confident resolve within her.
She has this quiet power that influences others in many ways. They either listen intently when she speaks, or they start to fumble their speech and lose composure.
5 Ways a Dark Feminine Interacts with Others:
1. She doesn’t pander to another person’s silly or disrespectful comments.
She is not reactive to someone’s comments towards her that are meant to make her feel small, uncomfortable or diminished in any way. Even if the intention was to be playful and flirty, she does not entertain it if she disapproves it.
She is not a people pleaser. Why should she be? She also does not apologize where it is not needed.
Instead, she shuts it down and does so with grace. Her confidence is so calm within her, she does not even let others get a rise out of her. She simply shuts it down in a manner that subtly embarrasses the other person by shining a light on their own behavior.
Anecdotal experience of not pandering to others:
A man at my workplace was trying to talk to me in a condescending way about a task he gave no guidance on. I immediately said the following:
“I was under the impression, that you wanted me to handle it in this way_________. However I see that is not the case. It was a misunderstanding. I’ll finish the current task I am doing right now, and then I’ll swing by to discuss it more.”
His response: “Oh yes, I suppose I probably didn’t better explain. Ok thank you.”
Analysis: I did not use emotion. DO NOT let anyone shake you or have that control over your emotions. Feel what you need to feel. Process it and then respond with confidence, facts, and focus on the action.
2. She’s doesn’t mind just sitting and watching the waves break around her. She’s perfectly fine sitting in silence.
The Dark Feminine will watch how others speak around her. She doesn’t try to match their energy or become carried away. She has nothing to prove and no inclination be liked. She does not become a chameleon to fit in.
She is more than happy to be in her own company, so she lets other take the “stage” if they feed off that spotlight energy.
As for herself, she will speak when SHE truly wants to say something that she believes brings real value to the conversation.
3. She is intentional and charismatic when speaks.
The Dark Feminine is well spoken because she spends her time reading, does not use filler words as she’s forming her thoughts, instead she uses pauses and speaks slowly.
She reads a lot on her own time, is well versed with the current state of affairs, and she makes it her craft to make others listen when speaks.
She understands that power comes from those who know how to make others lean in when she speaks. Some might even be intimidated by her because she is not that high energy bubbly chatty type of women they are used to. She is controlled, in her own power, and perhaps exhibiting more alpha qualities than the men around her. This demands respect.
4. She sits with you when she wants to connect
The Dark Feminine when interested in connecting with someone, will cut out the physical barriers in order to connect better. She is confident in her charismatic ability to connect. So she takes the initiative.
She will either sit on the same side of the couch. Or will ensure there is no table blocking you and her.
The lack of barrier allows the other individual to emotionally connect as well have the opportunity to physically connect via touch.
If this is a romantic date perhaps, the Dark Feminine can now make better eye contact, touch the hand a bit more, or even hold it momentarily while talking. The Dark Feminine is very comfortable with this type of intimacy and prolonged eye contact.
5. She’s good at listening, and making you feel important
She let’s others open up to her by simply being present, and listening. She may put one hand up by her head, and tilt her head, furrow her eyebrows slightly to show she’s intently listening to you. She is doing so to make you comfortable. Nothing feels better than someone fully present and listening to your story.
She does not overshare or compare your experience to hers, she does not interject while you are speaking, and she waits until you are finished to provide her understanding.
She makes you feel important because SHE’S listening to you and perhaps even summarizing what you said in her own words to make she gets you. She may even share a simple commonality with you, making you feel even more connected with her. Her subtle effort shows she is invested in you.
Many will be happy to indulge and open up to a Dark Feminine who is good at simply being present and making the others feel heard. Her own calmness and peace within herself allows her to be the lodestone for others as well.
5. She doesn’t constantly reach out for attention
You may be wondering what she is up to. The Dark Feminine is so lost in her beautiful world, that she doesn’t need to find happiness through validation or appreciation of herself. She doesn’t seek love or even adoration from others and disguise it as “expressing herself”.
The Dark Feminine is a private woman. She does not need to make a show of her world. If she WANTS to talk to someone she will, if she doesn’t have anything to say, she won’t. It’s that simple.
She doesn’t waste her time by calling or messaging others just to vie for their attention. It’s so aimless, and without purpose. She doesn’t like to chase anyone for their time, why would she, she loves herself too much.
The Dark Feminine would much rather pursue activities that fulfill her goals and indulge in her own self investment. She is not in the business of just calling people or making them feel guilty for not calling her, because it would be embarassing and honestly pathetic. She never has to look for someone to make her content. She does it on her own quite well actually.
Anecdotal experience:
I was simply writing this blog and lost in my own research of this topic. I received a phone call from my husband and the conversation went like this.
Him: Helloooo Baybeeee!
Me: Oh hello darling.
Him: Just trying to see what my beautiful wife is up to! I haven’t heard from you all morning!
Me: Oh simply writing an article, tell me about your day? Is it really busy?
Him: Oh man! Let me tell you about…(proceeds to tell me ALL about his entire morning)
Me: Well hurry on home as soon as you’re done. I’ll start cooking once I finish this article. Love you!
Him: Love you too!!! See you soon hun.
Analysis: Even when you are in a committed relationship. It does not mean you can’t practice some restraint and focus inwards. Make the interactions more meaningful by not frequently reaching out to your significant other. Catch up on the day once they have come home and are ready to talk. They’ll miss you more this way and will look forward to seeing you even more!
