We often wonder what the word feminine truly means to a man. Is it the way we dress, the way we speak, the way we prolong eye contact if we enjoy their company.
It can be all of this, and yet we complicate it in our minds. And we second guess ourselves, and are so obsessed with making a curated perception for him, that we forget our own underlying power–the intoxicating feminine.
Subtle Confidence is Embodied by the Feminine
The word feminine is synonymous with subtle confidence. You have to have a strong sense of self and understand who you are as well as what you have to offer.
There can be no bargaining or negotiating in this with others. Your sense of worth is not up for debate.
I can confirm this from the male perspective because after interviewing many good men here’s what I have learned:
What Men Think About a Feminine Woman:
“A woman who doesn’t need to act like a man to be confident….she talks with certainty and is not overly aggressive or crass to get her message across. She almost makes you lean in to listen because she is not about to raise her voice to be heard.”
Elliot, 35, OREGOn, USA
“A woman to me is feminine when they aren’t afraid to be nurturing. Not submissive but nurturing. Men’s egos are very fragile, and no matter how confident you are….we need that support from them.”
Chris, 36, New York, USA
“Someone who knows moderation…meaning she understands that she looks beautiful with or without makeup. With or without the glam. She doesn’t need to be done up all the time. She allows herself to be in her natural state around others without putting herself down.”
Jesse, 31, WASHINGTON, USA
“A feminine woman to me is completely comfortable being the driver and the passenger. She lets me drive when it’s my time to show her how I can help. And she also knows how to drive when she’s particularly good at something or just needs to handle her business. Either way, she doesn’t have an ego about her.”
Jermaine, 28, New YORK, USA
“It’s her perspective…it’s something in the way a woman carries herself.
Men tend to be pragmatic and that also gives them a narrower scope.
Women tend to be the ones that introduce new concepts into our lives. We invest our being into them with the idea that it will add substance back to us as well and foster passion of all types.
We as men, look for women’s affirmation for our actions. It’s like positive reinforcement, to re-affirm that we are doing the right thing as men.
The choices women make when interacting with us while we develop tend to mold the decisions we make about how we act and carry ourselves because the appealing sex is essentially one of the prime motivators of living.
So a feminine woman usually has more of a kept and delicate nature. She keeps herself together and her nurturing guides us to being better men. She reinforces the good we do and doesn’t tolerate when we derail. Her charm and demeanor makes us want to be better men.”
Christopher, 28, Georgia, USA
Can you recognize an underlying theme here? Let’s try to understand this together. I myself didn’t realize the extent a woman’s energy has on a man’s direction with her.
Analysis of a Subtle Confident Feminine Woman
Women have the power to persuade and motivate men in their behavior however they seem to have forgotten themselves.
Women with Too Much Masculine Energy
We try so hard to be equal to men, we almost became them. Losing sight of our own power as companions and confidantes that should be cherished. We don’t have to emulate their energies all the time to be accepted by them.
We think that sharing in their interests, lingo, mannerisms and hobbies they will enjoy our company more. Which is true to a certain extent in building a familiar bond perhaps but it has to be genuine.
You do not need to impress him. You have nothing to prove here.
You don’t need to act like them for these men to love you.
The Charm of the Feminine Woman
Our attractive quality is in the opposing feminine energy as well. Bonding with them over some beers is one thing, you gain comradery points here. He sees you as a good friend. However, when you start exuding feminine energy in the way you carry yourself, he will treat you differently and even be more careful and attentive to you.
Instead we must remember how important we are to them, and without us many men don’t have a sense of lasting purpose and intention. We are their driving force.
Chasing them, waiting for their attention at times, validating ourselves through their approval. When instead, we should be confident and at peace with who we are as women.
We are beautiful, we are steadfast and we are definitely worth the wait & pursuit. As long as we add value to their life as well, of course.
These men are looking to us, strong women, to be guided and are seeking OUR approval. And yet so many of us lack the ability to see our own power and fortitude.
The trending issue: We let insecure men break our minds and leave us prey to cyclic betrayals from essentially the same man with a different face.
This debilitates our confidence & self worth even further (if we already struggled with self-image). Leaving us vulnerable to mis-stepping with other men.
Good men are waiting for us to recognize our worth and reaffirm our stance in this world.
Here’s some tips on how to increase feminine energy:
Building back our confidence through self reflection and working on the areas we can fill our cup some more. Are we doing the most we can for ourselves? Are we helping her be her best self?
- Carry ourselves with a sense of dignity and respect for ourselves.
- Let’s leave begging to be treated right and for attention in the past. If he won’t do it, leave because there are plenty of men willing to “mold their decisions” in hopes of your approval.
- Sensuality can be portrayed in your mannerisms and well dressed clothing.
- Dress for yourself but you can be alluring without having to be overtly sexual and revealing.
- You are not trying to give away too much without them earning it.
- Drop the ego and your controlling tendencies at the door when building a relationship.
- No man, or anyone for that matter, wants someone to control every aspect.
- Let them fail if you must, and let that be okay. You’re not raising anyone’s son. But you are here to have open dialogue of the impact of his actions.
- Do not nag.
- Men respond better to actions. If they don’t do something you want, fall back and let them feel your absence.
- You will not be inclined to nurture a man who cannot provide you the care in return. Discuss this if it continues to be a pattern.
- If not resolved, be prepared to leave, not beg for love.
- Do not yell or get angry if you are waiting on him.
- Take care of yourself, and do not cancel on your own appointments, self care, and your own life goals that you have curated for yourself. A lot of power dynamics are at play with the opposite sex.
- Do not be so available that you become fixated on this person. He is not your whole world. And if you make him so, you are no longer a woman that truly keeps her value.
Overall, the theme is subtle confidence.
Being secure in your own skin, your own company and your own value is a necessity for you to save yourself from being a victim to the manipulative toxic individuals in the world. And open up yourself to the love of men who are deserving of your time and investment.
